Rest in Peace.*

"Dear God,

It seems everything but profound to ask you why. Or to scream that it's not fair. So many of the things that come to mind seem so cliche in
light of the fact that I've heard them of often in my lifetime. But
having to deal with these emotions, on the other hand, proves to be a
different experience than anything I've understood before. I haven't
been able to stop thinking about it since I first heard the news nine
hours ago, but every now and then the reality of the thought occurs to
me again and it shocks my every nerve anew. It's like a mean joke that
i nievely keep falling for. I keep wondering that they must have it
wrong and that instead of my best friend, instead of my mum, it's
really someone else, someone more deserving, that is gone. It's like
one of those realistic dreams you wake up from crying; except that as
much as I cry, I just won't wake up. With every ringing phone call my
...heart stops as if they are calling to finally admit the error. But
instead I find on the other end someone hurting too, grasping for
something to help it all make sense again. It really helps to talk to
them, even though we make each other cry more. It helps because with
each perspective we get another piece of the story of her, a story that
we long to memorize and repeat lest it start to fade. She was Unique, and I was always so proud to be her sun. I know at times I probably even flaunted it because I was so proud. All of a sudden life feels longer as it stretches out in front of me and it seems like forever until I will see her again. I know she's apart of that cloud of witnesses cheering me on, but I wish so badly that I could just have her back again with me now. As I stay here and read about Reaching the Invisible God, she worships at your feet and can see you perfectly well. She doesn't even hurt for our loneliness because now she sees the whole big picture. But I miss her, God. I miss my friend. I miss my Mother."

So: Surround yourself with Her love and allow Her to comfort you.* Because "Perhaps they are not stars in the sky at all, but rather openings in Heaven where our loved one shine down to let us know that they are happy and in peace."